What's the first stage in red alert? Turn off all the lights, of course. Because when the zombie is discovered, the base goes into red alert. What better way to protect people than by jamming them shoulder to shoulder in a dark, cramped garage.ĭid I say dark? I meant pitch fucking black. I mean, highly infectious, rapidly transferring zombie virus. What to do? How about taking every person from their homes and sticking them in another underground garage. The General realizes that they've got zombies running around. Within 5 minutes of getting infected, he's killed like a dozen armed guards, apparently full on Solid Snake style, cause they never see him coming, never so much as fire off a round. The guy at the Pentagon who's in charge of building power, he has clearance to the Alien labs and the nuclear launch programs.) Gets himself infected. Her husband gets in (I know, I know, he's like the SUPER janitor so he has keycards everywhere.
How about sticking her in a trailer in a parking garage with nothing but some keycarded doors between her and some dumb fuck looking to get infected. What does he do with her before he kills her? Does he put her in a highly secured cell with a unit of armed guards to ensure no one gets in or out? Nope. What does the General want to do with her? Kill her, of course. She is perhaps the key to developing a vaccine that could protect the entire human race from the virus. So this lady, she's like the one person, in the whole country of England, who doesn't get turned into a zombie by the virus.
But those movies, the ones that are nothing but what's happening on screen, they are at least accountable for maintaining some Goddamn sense in that happening. You sit down, you zone out, and you just enjoy the pretty colors and loud noises for two hours. I understand that there are movies out there which aspire to nothing but entertainment. One of the dumbest movies I've ever seen.
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